Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I don’t buy bullshit

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why do some people refuse to explain their actions or behavior when asked? Why do they claim to not know the reason instead of providing an explanation?

I don’t cotton to rapists

I can read

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

Why do creationists ask for proof of evolution and then ignore the answers?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I can count

What is the craziest thing that you've ever witnessed?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

Which Bibles can one read and be confident they are reading the inerrant word of God?

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

NYC’s Noisy Skies Get Electric With Beta’s Demo Flight Into JFK - Bloomberg.com

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I have a reading level above third grade

Is sunscreen toxic? The UV truthers on the internet sure think so. - The Boston Globe

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Gut's energy crisis: How metabolism is severely disrupted in chronic inflammatory bowel diseases - Medical Xpress

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I understand how hurricane paths work

Who is the greatest light welterweight boxer of all time?

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

Engine that caught fire on American Airlines flight had parts installed backward: safety board report - Fortune

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

How do you perform a lap dance for your boyfriend or husband?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

How many women have accidentally pooped their pants and became turned on afterwards?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Why the American Diet Is So Deadly? A Silent Killer Quietly Harming Millions - Indian Defence Review

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I have complete contempt for fakery

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I see through liars

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I know who the president of Turkey really is

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I actually pay taxes

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”